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A Letter to those Adulting and facing quarter-life crisis.

There’s something about adulting that no advice, podcast, or sermon fully prepares you for.

People say, “Take it one day at a time,” or “Just trust the process,” but what do you do when the process feels like drowning—when you're smiling on the outside but silently wondering if you’re the only one struggling this much?

As I’ve walked and worked with young adults and also being one, I’ve seen a pattern for people in their 20’s and early 30’s . It goes something like this:

One day, you’re in high school, laughing with friends, enjoying high school love drama, and making plans that don’t feel too serious. A week later, you’re staring into the real world—decisions pressing down like bricks.

You’re told to pick a university course... as if you're supposed to know your life’s purpose at 20’s. You know the job market is rough, but you try anyway. Somewhere in the middle, you experience your first real heartbreak.

Then, your parents, who were once your safety net, begin to look to you for emotional support, help with bills, or just for understanding that you, too, are still learning to give.

If you're lucky enough to land a job, you’re thrown into office politics—working under people your parents' age, trying to find your voice without disrespecting theirs. You're constantly adjusting, learning, pretending. And meanwhile, your spiritual life starts to feel... dry. Like you’re trying to pray through a fog.

Your childhood friends drift away. You start uncovering old wounds, old fears, trauma buried deep that you never gave a name to. And right when you're trying to breathe, someone from the community looks at you with kind concern and asks, “So… when are we meeting the one?”. If you have, then the question is .... why aren't you or when are you getting married  or giving birth... and so forth?"

You laugh it off, but inside, you're tired. Tired of explaining. Tired of pretending. Tired of feeling like you have to perform just to be accepted.

So, you fake a version of success, posting curated wins online to impress people who are just as lost as you. You enter new circles, hoping they’ll feel like home, but soon realize: everyone is carrying something.

You start seeing cracks in your parents’ relationship—the one you once thought was perfect. You realize your heroes are human too. And you can’t help but wonder…

“Is it just me? Is something wrong with me?”

The answer is no. You’re not broken. You’re not behind.
You’re just becoming.

Allow me to share these few things:

1. You are not alone.

What you’re feeling isn’t weird or weak. It’s real. Many before us have walked this road, and many are walking it with you now—even if they never say it out loud.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful…” 1 Corinthians 10:13

You are not the only one wrestling with your identity, wondering if you’re doing enough, questioning where life is going. This is not the end of our story. It’s just a hard chapter.

2. You need deep, honest friendships.

Not everyone can go with you, but you need someone. Even one person you can be real with. Someone who will listen without judging, and love you enough to speak truth even when it’s hard.

“Two are better than one… If either of them falls, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

You don’t need a crowd. You need a connection. Someone to remind you of who you are when you forget.

3. Anchor yourself in God’s promises.

The world will keep giving you labels. Some of them will feel true. Some will sting. But God has already spoken about you.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3
“The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

His Word is not a fairytale. It’s your lifeline. Speak it. Write it. Proclaim it—until your soul believes it.

4. Cry if you need to. Rest if you must. But remember—you are not a victim. You are a victor.

Some days, victory looks like getting out of bed.
Some days, it’s choosing not to compare yourself.
Some days, it’s whispering, “God, help me,” when you have nothing left.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”  Romans 8:37

And If You’re Still in the Thick of It…

Dear one,
You are not crazy.
You are not too late.
You are not weak.

You are growing, even in the dark.
You are becoming, even when you feel lost.
You are held, even when it feels like no one sees you.

God is not disappointed in your pace.
He is walking with you—step by shaky step, through every doubt, every delay, every breakdown.

So take the pressure off.
Let go of the timelines.
And lean into grace.

Cry. Pray. Laugh. Rest. Repeat.
Your story is still being written, and the Author is good.

This chapter is not the end. It’s the making of something beautiful.
And one day, you’ll look back with tears in your eyes and say:

“I made it. God carried me. And I’m stronger than I ever knew.”

We shall overcome, Take courage. 

Your fellow traveller

Pastor Samuel Kwizera