God, Me, You and Grief.
God, Me, You and Grief.
Recently, during a training session on youth ministry, one
of the trainers spoke about how many people in church struggle to deal with
grief in a biblical way. With a heavy heart and teary eyes, she shared how she
lost her mother at the age of 8. The pain and emotional distress that she had
bottled up finally exploded, and she was now seriously confronting her grief.
As she spoke, I was reminded of my own experience. I
couldn’t mourn my grandmother, who died while I was at school in Kenya. I had
to suppress the pain of her death to focus on my exams. When I returned to
Rwanda and visited her grave, the pent-up sorrow overwhelmed me. Tears rolled
down my face, my throat tightened, and I felt weak. I remembered the times we
spent together and how she lovingly called me “Umugabo wanjye nsigaranye” (my
remaining husband).
These stories highlight the unbiblical ways many Christians
deal with grief and mourning. The Bible, however, offers many ways to mourn:
weeping (Psalm 6:6), singing songs of lament, fasting, and more. God does not
condemn these expressions of sorrow. In fact, He cares deeply about our
feelings and welcomes all of them. We cannot enter His house filled with joy
while hiding our grief and mourning from Him.
Consider this: what does it say about our perception of God
if we hide our grief and pain from Him? Can we truly say, “He loves us even in
our pain,” or do we think He is the one causing our grief and pain?
Scripture makes it clear that we are to bring all our
feelings to Him. The psalmist writes, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will
sustain you” (Psalm 55:22). Peter echoes this, saying, “Cast all your anxiety
on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
So, can we express the bitterness caused by loss? Can we
share how losing someone or something has downtrodden us? The answer is a
resounding Yes.
Like all of it? Yes. As in he really cares? Yes
.
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